Whether it’s managing their excitement or understanding their anxiety, Steph Fairbairn provides tips for helping youngsters navigate the festive season.
The festive season can be intense. It can offer lots of wonderful times but also present a lot of challenges.
Our experience of a time like Christmas is often dependent on what is going on in our home life, with our family and our financial situation. As a result, it can bring up numerous emotions, both good and bad. And that goes for adults and children alike.
As we approach Christmas, it is important that we, as coaches, are aware of all of this and consider the impact this may have on the players we are working with. We might notice differences in how they behave and maybe even a change in performance levels.
Of course, these are things we should always be aware of, but they may become more prevalent as we entire a time like the festive period.
The challenge is to try to look beyond the behaviour or the performance and consider what our players might be going through that we can support them with.
Excited
Some players won’t be able to wait for Christmas. They might be excited about the thought of time off school, presents, celebrations and seeing family and friends.
They might have wonderful memories of Christmases they have experienced so far and be counting down the days until they can enjoy it all again.
Uncertain
Some players won’t quite know what to expect. They may have experienced good and bad Christmases in the past and wonder what the coming one will be like.
They might be unsure if their family has the money to get them presents and, as a result, be thinking about if their experience will match up to that of their peers.
Alternatively, they may simply not like disruption to their normal routine.
Scared
Some players, though, will know that Christmas isn’t going to be a good time.
They may be going through some difficult times at home, and feel being there for an extended period of time, without the respite of school, will be a challenge.
The thought of Christmas may be overwhelming. They may see it as a time of being alone and isolated.
Indifferent
Some players simply won’t be that bothered. It may just be another time of year for them and they roll with it.
A mix of emotions
A lot of players will probably experience a mix of the above, and lots of other emotions, over the course of the festive period.
One day they might really be looking forward to Christmas; the next, they might be nervous about what’s to come.
Might not celebrate it at all
It is important to remember that not all of our players will celebrate Christmas, due to following a different religion, their own personal background, or just through choice.
Yet in countries where Christmas is traditionally celebrated, it is often impossible to avoid. Bear these players in mind when joining in the celebrations.
Watch and observe
Take time to notice how your players are showing up to training and matches, behaving, communicating, taking part and performing. Does anything seem a bit different?
Observe the people around them, too – how do their parents or carers seem? Are there things going on at home that may be affecting the player?
Hold the space for them
Let players know that you are there for them if they want to talk about things and offer them support and guidance.
Some players may not want to talk. They may simply want to use the space and time soccer affords them as a chance to relax and escape. Hold that space, too.
Think about the different experiences of the group
Consider each of the individuals in your group and what their experience may be, how they might be feeling and how being around peers with different experiences and emotions may impact them.
Be aware of how the group dynamics may change as a result of this.
Try not to make too many things dependent on money
Christmas can be an expensive time of year.
Often, we can come up with fun ideas to help us celebrate without considering the financial, and resulting emotional, impact on young people.
We might, for example, suggest that all players wear Christmas jumpers to a session. While this is a brilliant idea that will likely result in a lot of fun (and a great photo!) you may have some players that don’t own a Christmas jumper and can’t afford to buy one. Yet they won’t want to be the odd one out among their peers.
You may also be considering putting on a Christmas social event that requires a fee in addition to the regular-season money that players must contribute.
Think about either doing things without an associated cost, or, if it can’t be avoided, see if you can level the playing field somehow.
Give them something to do over their time off
Some players may want ideas for how they can keep up with their soccer practice during the Christmas period.
Others may just want something to do as a distraction, especially if their home situation isn’t a happy one.
Consider putting something together to help them. Maybe gather some activities they can do at home or even share a schedule of soccer matches, documentaries and shows that will be on TV during the off period that they can watch.
Take care of yourself
Remember that, whether positive, negative, or somewhere in between, the Christmas period will be having an impact on you, as well.
You are a coach, but you are also still a human being. You may notice changes in your behaviour and how you respond to things. This is okay.
Make sure you give yourself the time, space and respect that you are giving your players.
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