Kai Edwards: 'A humbling helped me be more human'

The first team Kai Edwards ever coached was a group of under-12s that included two players who would go on to be US World Cup stars: Kristen Press and Whitney Engen.

He is currently head coach at the Southern Utah Thunderbirds, leading the team to its most successful ever season in 2022.

In between those coaching gigs, Edwards, in his own words, "worked, competed, failed, got dropped out, and came back in".

When he joined us on podcast row at the United Soccer Coaches Convention in Philadelphia last week, Edwards explored his journey in more depth, talking about how he manages his ego, why he is no longer a "transactional" coach and how important it is to be human…

SCW: How do you like your sessions to look?

KE: "I want them to be drained by the end of it, emotionally. You [want to] set up a session that makes them want to pour their heart in, and their mind in.

"I always tell them: ’You might not always be physically done, but, if we’re doing our job, you should feel like you gave everything out of your heart, out of your soul, out of your mind, and be emotionally drained because that’s what the training elicited. 

“I think most people would say, ’When you play a Kai-coached team, there’s passion. You’re going to feel it from them in the way they play and what they do’.

"I like that to come out of a session, along with the peer intellect of ‘why did we do what we did?’.

"[I want to] be able to stop a student athlete at any point and say, ’why did you make that decision?’. The decision could be right, but [I want you] to have the personal confidence to answer the question because you did it for a reason."

SCW: How much of that is about soccer and how much of it is about being a human?

KE: "It’s a combination of both. I think it’s important to know when it is more important to be [on] the human side, but then there are moments where the soccer is important.

"It can’t be at the downfall of the human, but there are moments where tactics and the understanding of cohesive ideas matter.

“I think it’s understanding what is important in each moment. I always tell people I’m a Libra [represented in astrology by scales], so part of what I do is try to be as balanced as possible and understand what the moment calls for, and do what the game and the moment needs, not what I want to do.

"When you’ve beaten top 25 teams, and you’re not allowed to coach, it’s humbling..."

“I think that was one of my biggest shifts as a coach in the last five years. It’s always what I wanted to do - ’this is what I wanted out of the session, this is what I wanted out of the player’.

Now it starts to go, ’what does the moment need?’. Not me forcing a moment, but reading the moment."

SCW: How did you develop that?

KE: "I failed miserably. I was probably more of a transactional coach at a time. I failed and my contract wasn’t renewed and I had to reinvent myself.

"I went and worked at other places and learned a new approach and a new way to do things - still to get to the same final point I was trying to get to, but in a more efficient and positive way.

“I also had very good friends that told me I failed and didn’t kiss my butt and tell me, ’It’s the athletic director’s fault’. I think that really helped me look at myself. I was a Division I head coach, who went back to being a volunteer director of operations.

“Not being able to coach and just watch training sessions is humbling. When you’ve won games, and you’ve beaten top 25 teams as a coach, and now you’re not even allowed to coach and you’re just watching, it’s very humbling. But it was what was needed.

“Hopefully no one has to fail, but when you do fail, when you have belief in yourself and other people believe in you, but also can give you the crucial conversation and be real with you, I think that’s important.

"I think so many people fluff things up to make sure everyone feels good and then they keep creating the same problems."