The life and career of an associate head coach

SS: What does your role look like during the spring season? Is it different from your responsibilities in the fall season?

CH: In the spring, we have a little more freedom to try new things, test out new activities on the field and experiment with different ideas for the team. But, generally, my responsibilities are the same.

SS: What is the biggest difference between assistant coach and associate head coach?

CH: In theory, becoming an associate head coach has given me more responsibility. However, I was doing most of what I do now as an assistant. 

The title change is my head coach and the administration recognizing the work I am doing, something I am truly grateful for.

SS: How has your experience as a head coach for other programs influenced how you approached your roles as an assistant coach?

CH: I always try to remember what I wanted from my assistants when I was a head coach. 

Ultimately, I wanted assistants who made my life easier and that is how I approach my current position: What can I do to make my head coach’s life easier, so he can focus on the things that he is best at?

SS: How do you manage different personalities of staff and players as a head coach?

CH: You truly have to get to know your staff as human beings to be able to manage them. It is so important to understand the working styles, motivation and personal strengths of the people you manage. You must establish trust through vulnerability. 

Once you get to know one another and build a trusting relationship, it’s about clear communication and flexibility.

SS: What legacy do you want to leave at Fairfield?

CH: No matter where I’ve been, the legacy I always hope to create is one where I leave the place better than when I found it. 

I hope that, because of my minimal involvement in a player’s life, she is able to take something away from her experience that is memorable and positive.

"My wellbeing and my life took a back seat. I missed family time and friends’ weddings..."

COACHING LESSONS, CHALLENGES AND ADVICE

SS: What was your previous position before Fairfield? What is the most impactful lesson you learned from that experience?

CH: Prior to Fairfield, I was at a prep school for a year and before that I was a Division III head coach for seven years.

The most impactful lesson I learned from my time as a head coach and my year-hiatus away from college coaching is a deeply personal one. 

For seven years, I put the program, the team and the players ahead of myself. I lost myself in coaching. I let myself be defined by the actions and opinions of 18- to 22-year-olds and my self-worth be intricately tied to the game and the profession. 

My health, my wellbeing and my life took a back seat and I missed out on family time, friends’ weddings and life events because I believed it was required to be successful. 

In my year away from college coaching, I was able to recognize the toll this had taken on me and began to redefine what was important to me. 

I took time to remember and foster the parts of myself I had lost along the way and I managed to get very comfortable in my own skin again. 

Ultimately, returning to the associate head coach role has given me the space and opportunity to create healthy boundaries, find balance between life and work and realize how much better a coach I am when my life has more meaning outside of the game.

SS: How do you manage a healthy work-life balance? What do you do in your time away from coaching?

CH: I have to work hard at balancing my life and work because it is so easy to be defined by your team’s successes and failures.

I work hard to shut off when I can. I put my phone away and hang out with the people I care most about.

I love being outside and staying active, so I try to take a break during busy days to just go for a walk. 

I ski, I hike, I bike, I hang out with my dog and my husband and I spend time with my family every chance I get.

SS: What has been the most significant challenge you have faced? How did you handle it and what did you learn from it?

CH: I have had my share of big and small challenges, on and off the field, and many have had a significant impact on my career.

Through job changes, losing loved ones, unexpected administrative changes, moving across the country, twice, and every challenge in between, I have learned that a solid support system, finding moments of joy whenever possible and being present are key to surviving the toughest tests. 

It is understanding that you can do everything right and still not get the result you wanted. That doesn’t mean you stop doing it right.

SS: What advice would you give to a young female coach starting on her college coaching journey?

CH: Be open to learning from others, ask for help and clarity, work hard but also take care of yourself. 

Understand that there are so many ways to do this job and so many ways to be successful in it. Be willing to think, believe or say that someone else’s way works too. Be open to learning a new way, even if it’s not your way.

SS: Who is your biggest mentor and what is one of the most impactful things you have learned from them?

CH: My college coach who I worked for in my first coaching job, Franco Bari, is probably the most influential person in my professional life.

"Aliceann Wilber is a fierce opponent and a gracious colleague I loved every game...."

He gave me my first opportunity to coach, involved me in every aspect of running the program and encouraged me to grow and learn along the way.

It is hard to pick the most impactful thing he taught me, but a lesson I will always carry with me is: "Don’t make anyone do something you aren’t willing to do yourself".

SS: Who is the most influential coach you have coached against and why?

CH: I have been so fortunate to work with, coach against and play for some amazing people in my soccer career.

Someone I have always admired is Aliceann Wilber, the head coach at William Smith College [in Geneva, New York]. She and I coached in the Liberty League against one another.

She is pure class and has built a legacy at William Smith [Wilber has been head coach there since 1980]. She is a fierce opponent and a gracious colleague. I loved every game I coached against her.

Her teams were always amazing. But, most importantly, Aliceann was always herself: authentic, kind, competitive, and supportive.

SS: What has been your favorite memory as a coach?

CH: I was fortunate to be able to play for, coach with and coach against my mentor [Franco Bari]. I absolutely loved coaching against him - and beating him! 

I loved those games. They always felt like full circle moments for me, showing him all he had taught me.